The Girl All the Fanboys Want

Anybody remember that Bowling for Soup song, "The Girl All the Bad Guys Want"?  I came across that the other day.  If you're unfamiliar with it, it's basically the story of a not-so-cool guy who's in love with a cool bad-girl chick.  She, of course, is just into guys who drive Trans-Ams and have mustaches.  It's an uphill battle for our hero.

This got me to thinking of a different story.  What if this was the tale, instead, of a "cooler" guy who fell in love with a geek girl?  Same basic set-up, but he'd be shut out of her world for his lack of nerd knowledge and ability to speak fluent Klingon.  Instead of being blocked by muscle-bound fratboys, he would, instead, be losing her to Jedi-loving fanboys.

I wanted to hear this song.  So I wrote it.  Over the top of BfS's original song, of course.

These things usually go better if you play the song along while you're reading the lyrics, so I recommend using the handy video below.



THE GIRL ALL THE FANBOYS WANT
by Michael O'Connell (by way of Bowling for Soup)

Coffee shop, Monday night, and I’m waitin’
To finally talk to a girl who seems so different than me
Her name is Nona, she’s a Trekkie with a com badge
She is a Browncoat but I’m not quite sure what that means

And when she walks
All the wind blows and the wood elves sing
But she doesn’t notice me

‘Cause she’s watchin’ X-Men
Creamin’ over Twilight
Listenin’ to Warp 11
Transporters in her eyes

It’s like a bad movie
Like SyFy produced me
If you were me then you’d be
Screamin’ “Greedo shoot me”
My roll fails miserably
Tryin’ to get the girl all the fanboys want
‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want

She likes B5, I like How I Met Your Mother
Her PS3 is rockin’ Final Fantasy all night long
She writes fan fiction about Legolas and Frodo
I tried to read it but it’s just disturbing and wrong

And when she walks
All the wind blows and the wood elves sing
But she’ll never notice me

‘Cause she’s watching X-Men
Creaming over Twilight
Listening to Warp 11
Transporters in her eyes

She likes ‘em with a goth look
Readin’ comic books
She’s a Klingon dude fan
Does a Bat’leth make a man?

It’s like a bad movie
Like SyFy produced me
If you were me then you’d be
Screamin’ “Greedo shoot me”
My roll fails miserably
Tryin’ to get the girl all the fanboys want
And she’s the girl all the fanboys want
And she’s the girl all the fanboys want
And she’s the girl all the fanboys want

There she goes again
A corset on, and green dye in her hair
She’ll be my Rogue if this goes like I planned it
All I want is just to be her Gambit

Now I’m watching X-Men
Trying to read the Twilight
Listenin’ to Warp 11
Transporters in my eyes
I don’t have a goth look
And I ain’t read no comic books
But I know what soap is…soap is…soap is…

It’s like a bad movie
Like SyFy produced me
If you were me then you’d be
Screamin’ “Greedo shoot me”
My roll fails miserably
Tryin’ to get the girl all the fanboys want

‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want
‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want
‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want
‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want
(Boldly go again)
‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want
‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want
(Boldly go again)
‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want
‘Cause she’s the girl all the fanboys want